Thursday, November 29, 2012
Today’s Topic: Tough Assignment
Today’s Text: Psalm 119:79-80 (ESV) 79 Let those who fear you turn to me, that they may know your testimonies. 80 May my heart be blameless in your statutes, that I may not be put to shame!
I am the teacher, yet need to be taught;
I have some questions about what life has wrought.
I want to be blameless, Your Word have I sought;
Yet deep in my heart a war is being fought.
I know that with blood my life has been bought;
But all of my joy is slipping to naught.
A fresh sense of hope and love must be caught;
I am the teacher, yet need to be taught.
I am behind closed doors. I am struck down in my heart with the reality that right now, I am sure that those who fear the LORD cannot turn to me and see His testimonies.
Tragedy has struck my family in ways I cannot fully explain, but is testing every fiber of my faith. I know in His faithfulness God has afflicted me, but anger and fear are overwhelming the application of truth.
I long to be blameless and not bring shame to my LORD in how I respond, but I don’t know if I can righteously balance justice and grace. I know God will show me the way, and as I wait on Him my strength will be renewed. God knows I need those intellectual truths to captivate my heart, and I surrender to the work He is doing.
Is it hard? Beyond description.
Is it debilitating? My emotions are raw and thin.
Is it impossible? My mind opposes the promise of God that with Him nothing is impossible.
Is there hope? If not, I would not be writing to you and baring my soul.
Please pray for me and my family. Satan is doing all he can to destroy the work of Jesus Christ. The enemy has now made it personal. I need to know how to stand in the promised victory of God.