Tag Archives: parenting

COMMUNICATING GOD’S TRUTH

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LifeLink Devotions for Friday, January 24, 2025

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with your father? I don’t. Even if I eliminate the early years prior to the age of five, I still can’t remember a conversation of any real significance. I’m sure there were some because of the values and beliefs that are still foundational to my life, and for that I am so thankful: but I can’t remember them. We are both to blame for that. He felt his primary role was correction, and there was very little discipleship. I was an arrogant child who wanted to do everything my own way. The result was a lack of meaningful communication.

Communication with our children is critical. Unfortunately, our conversations with them are usually quite shallow, and when we do try to teach them something it is done as an emotional response to an undesirable action on their part. Very seldom do parents have a plan for the training of their children that is consistently implemented.

There are two general patterns that parents adopt for the training of their children. The first and least desirable is what I call the “reactionary” method. Other terms I could coin would be the “off-the-cuff wisdom” method or the “this is really inconvenient for me right now” method.  In this format parents simply react to whatever the children do and hope they have the wisdom and skill to handle the consequences when it happens. There is no need for planning or preparation, and there is certainly no defined long-term purpose to what they are doing. Teaching of the child is confined to the limited time immediately surrounding each event that required parental intervention and is usually done with emotional outbursts.

The second and preferred pattern is the “disciplinary” method. Parents using this method have established goals for the character development of their children and have defined a specific plan of how to accomplish those goals and it’s unique to each individual child based on their natural abilities and tendencies. They know that a child’s life is a treasure that needs to be fully discovered but that without proper polishing the treasure could be lost forever. They recognize their highest priority is to “disciple” their children through teaching, correction, admonition, training, and application. They have developed a “scope and sequence” for each child. There is a syllabus for every year of their lives based on their emotional, educational, and spiritual maturity. They don’t react to events that happen but train their children to be prepared for when they do happen. 

The disciplinary method is the Biblical pattern for parenting. In fact, it is God’s pattern as our Heavenly Father for all of us as His children. God’s scope and sequence had a beginning for us – the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). That  is the same place we are to begin in the training of our children.

It is extremely significant that with all the wisdom he was granted by God that Solomon chose to begin the instruction of his son with these words in Proverbs 1:10. “if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. He then goes on to explain the consequences of sin. To balance that, he also teaches his son the value of wisdom and its benefits for life.

I encourage you to read Proverbs chapter 1 starting in verse 10. Pay special attention to how Solomon prepares his son for the potential traps of sin and the consequences of that sin, and then to how he presents the positive alternative by following the path of God.

If the training of our children is not first and foremost founded on faith in Jesus Christ which includes the recognition and rejection of sin, then we have built for our children the wrong foundation. As parents we must have a plan with a purpose. Our teaching must be intentional and consistent. It will be the temptation right now to think that this is too hard and will be inconvenient. If so, then you have already made your choice of methods. But just look into the eyes of your child and see if that choice is really the product of the love that lies deep in your heart.

Pastor John

https://open.spotify.com/episode/65jmGmAGU5obV4RCACF9U0?si=N47RJ2KWSN2WxFZCdCrq8Q

PARENTING WISDOM

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LifeLink Devotions for Thursday, January 23, 2025

We all had them. Many of us were them. Some of you are planning to be one.

The first recorded words of God to Adam and Eve were His blessing and command to become parents. God had spoken in Creation and to Adam prior to the creation of Eve, but now he reveals His heart to the man and woman. He expects multiplication, and it is through the marriage of one man and one woman that His will is to be accomplished.

As parents and grandparents, our role is significant before the Lord. In his opening statements of wisdom, Solomon addresses his son and challenges him with the importance of listening to his father and mother.

Proverbs 1:8  “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”

His wisdom reveals that a parent’s instruction and teaching must be worthy of hearing and applying to a child’s life.

What are we teaching our kids? Or what are we not teaching them by what other sources of instruction do we allow into their lives? Those questions must burn deeply in our minds every day as we consider the awesome and eternal responsibility God has given us to instruct, teach, and train the next generation of Christ-followers.

A quick study of the two Hebrew words used in this verse is valuable for us. Dad is responsible for instruction and Mom brings teaching. Now I must say that this is not the only verse about parents in Proverbs, and it certainly cannot be taken as the whole counsel of God concerning the unique roles of mom and dad. But in this first reference to a parent’s responsibility, the literal meaning of the Hebrew words tells us that Dad is the enforcer of God’s law that mom has taught.

The word translated “instruction” means “chastisement”, and is translated as discipline, correction, and instruction. Dad, your role with your kids is to correct them when they are outside the boundaries of God’s will and to do so with the intent of training them to stay inside those boundaries.

Mom’s, your word “teach” is the Hebrew word for “law”. You will recognize it because it is the word “torah”. To moms God has given the responsibility of teaching the law of God to her children. That is not to say that dad doesn’t also have that responsibility. What it says is that between mom and dad there is a mutual understanding of and agreement with the law of God and they work together to train their children to know and serve the Almighty.

It is our privilege as parents to represent the Lord Jesus Christ to our children. It is our responsibility to teach them and train them through instruction and discipline to recognize the Lordship of Jesus Christ over their lives. We will fail at that if He is not Lord of our lives. Verbal instruction and teaching must be validated with visible activity.

Our kids are being taught whether we are saying anything to them or not. They learn mainly by observing.

So what are we teaching our kids?

Pastor John