LifeLink Devotions for Friday, January 24, 2025

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with your father? I don’t. Even if I eliminate the early years prior to the age of five, I still can’t remember a conversation of any real significance. I’m sure there were some because of the values and beliefs that are still foundational to my life, and for that I am so thankful: but I can’t remember them. We are both to blame for that. He felt his primary role was correction, and there was very little discipleship. I was an arrogant child who wanted to do everything my own way. The result was a lack of meaningful communication.

Communication with our children is critical. Unfortunately, our conversations with them are usually quite shallow, and when we do try to teach them something it is done as an emotional response to an undesirable action on their part. Very seldom do parents have a plan for the training of their children that is consistently implemented.

There are two general patterns that parents adopt for the training of their children. The first and least desirable is what I call the “reactionary” method. Other terms I could coin would be the “off-the-cuff wisdom” method or the “this is really inconvenient for me right now” method.  In this format parents simply react to whatever the children do and hope they have the wisdom and skill to handle the consequences when it happens. There is no need for planning or preparation, and there is certainly no defined long-term purpose to what they are doing. Teaching of the child is confined to the limited time immediately surrounding each event that required parental intervention and is usually done with emotional outbursts.

The second and preferred pattern is the “disciplinary” method. Parents using this method have established goals for the character development of their children and have defined a specific plan of how to accomplish those goals and it’s unique to each individual child based on their natural abilities and tendencies. They know that a child’s life is a treasure that needs to be fully discovered but that without proper polishing the treasure could be lost forever. They recognize their highest priority is to “disciple” their children through teaching, correction, admonition, training, and application. They have developed a “scope and sequence” for each child. There is a syllabus for every year of their lives based on their emotional, educational, and spiritual maturity. They don’t react to events that happen but train their children to be prepared for when they do happen. 

The disciplinary method is the Biblical pattern for parenting. In fact, it is God’s pattern as our Heavenly Father for all of us as His children. God’s scope and sequence had a beginning for us – the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). That  is the same place we are to begin in the training of our children.

It is extremely significant that with all the wisdom he was granted by God that Solomon chose to begin the instruction of his son with these words in Proverbs 1:10. “if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. He then goes on to explain the consequences of sin. To balance that, he also teaches his son the value of wisdom and its benefits for life.

I encourage you to read Proverbs chapter 1 starting in verse 10. Pay special attention to how Solomon prepares his son for the potential traps of sin and the consequences of that sin, and then to how he presents the positive alternative by following the path of God.

If the training of our children is not first and foremost founded on faith in Jesus Christ which includes the recognition and rejection of sin, then we have built for our children the wrong foundation. As parents we must have a plan with a purpose. Our teaching must be intentional and consistent. It will be the temptation right now to think that this is too hard and will be inconvenient. If so, then you have already made your choice of methods. But just look into the eyes of your child and see if that choice is really the product of the love that lies deep in your heart.

Pastor John

https://open.spotify.com/episode/65jmGmAGU5obV4RCACF9U0?si=N47RJ2KWSN2WxFZCdCrq8Q